Long, but Fun Trip!

Well, Jenessa and I are back from our week of traveling! We went to grandma and grandpa's in Mitchell for 5 days and during that drove the 4 hours to see Great Grandma. She enjoyed seeing Jenessa and watching her throw her food and sippy cup on the floor.
We were also fortunate enough to get to meet up with one of my old friends from high school and two of her daughters. Jenessa loved it, but was trying to act shy!! My daughter shy? HAHAHA!
Then on Friday we packed up and headed to Aunt Tessa and Uncle Jarod's, to see cousin Grayson! Jenessa loved that, she even came up and gave me a hug and then went back to playing! What a cutie!!
It was Grayson's birthday weekend and so I helped Tessa get ready for the party and Jenessa helped entertain Grayson! I think we did a pretty good job at the assigments that we were given! :)
Then Sunday we got up and decided after church to head home.
So, during all this travel I had a lot of time to think about everything going on. I mean come on, I am expecting... trying to pay bills on one salary and wanting to sell my house so we can move. Plus, my husband is gone again and my daughter has Down Syndrome which is always in the back of my head, no matter what.
I got to thinking about how much I love my husband and do not want to loose him, but then thought I had on Friday night!! He went out with friends and his phone died after telling me they were heading back soon. Two hours later, I still hadn't heard from him and he wasn't answering his room phone. Freak out!!!! He was ok, they just got sidetracked for an extra hour and a half at the bar. ( He now knows he should call if that happens again.)
I then went to my sister's sermon on Sunday and what a great message for me to hear right now in my life!!
(ok background on her sermon, she has been told she is moving in January, it is a mid year move and very hard on her and her churches that she is currently serving!)
So back to the sermon, She really opened my eyes because she put it pretty blunt! God gives us what he wants us to do. What he gives us in our lives are always opportunities to be open to him and the day that you finally say ok Lord I want to serve you and I want to be able to take what you have given me and learn from it and truely serve the purpose it was given to me for, with an open heart. That is the day that everything will make sense and he will be able to show you the true purpose of his gift.
Now listening to this, I always think of my daughter because I sometimes wonder if I have accepted his gift with an open heart! I love my daughter, but am I truely doing what God intended me to do, to help other people accept my daughter and her friends! Then I wonder, do I truely accept other's that have Down Syndrome the way I should! We are not placed on this earth to judge what others do, nor what God wants us to do. We are here to just do and serve him!
I find as I look around, there is way too much judgement around me sometimes and I know I can get caught up in it. It was also stated that we are only human and we make mistakes. That is helpful. Because Lord knows that I make tons of mistakes everyday!! But the greatest gift God has given me, my daughter, helps me to remember that no matter what I am loved and I have a purpose!! For this I am so grateful!
So, maybe I am in the process of serving God, but maybe I hadn't opened my heart completely or accepted completely the great gift he has given to me. That is what I call a powerful sermon!

Travels to Mitchell...

So Jenessa and I dropped daddy off at the airport on Sunday and then headed west for grandma and grandpa's! Jenessa threw a fit at the airport, but then fell asleep by the time we hit the interstate. We stopped in Lincoln for lunch (for 20minutes)... Ugh! I missed having a second person to feed Jenessa while I drove. Then we finally got on the road again and the next stop was Kearney at a relatives birthday party. We actually weren't planning on stopping in Kearney, but I had to go to the bathroom and that is an interesting thought when driving with a toddler who can't walk. So luckily my aunt told me about the birthday party! So we got to stop and see family and hang out with some great people for awhile and I was able to have someone else hold Jenessa. Lots of someone elses actually! So after a wonderful time at cousin Ronda's birthday party, we hit the road again. Heading on. Jenessa feel right to sleep. This lasted for about an hour and a half. She woke just before Ogallala. We stopped there, which was interesting. One thing though is I was reminded of good ol' western Nebraska hospitality!! I went to pay for the stuff I was getting and thought I had 4 bucks and only had 3, and the clerk told me not to worry about the 35 cents, he had it. I was so greatful because then I didn't have to run back out to my car. So we get back on the road from there and as I am driving into the panhandle I just get to see the beauty of the land! It is just amazing to me how beautiful it is out here!!

This is Chimney Rock. Not as big as it used to be, but still beautiful!!
But we finally made it to my parents house 8.5 hours after we started... Jenessa has come up with a game where she makes a funny noise and I make it back. That got us through the very last, longest part of the trip!! So, thankfully I have a wonderful, easy going girl to travel with!

Jenessa Update!

Well, I haven't updated about Jenessa progress lately and thought it was time!! Jenessa is still a go getter!! She is still trying to work on walking, but getting so much closer! A month ago her ankles were too weak and now she is pushing her push car everywhere!! If I could just put her in a huge open room, she would push that thing for hours on end!! I am just cheering her on from the side lines because if I try to help, oh no! That does not work! So, we are still working on that! But her communication is getting so much better!! She knows the signs for food, more, and milk. Not much, but enough! She has also stated "Mo" which I translate to more and when she gets really mad, it is "Mom" or "Dada!" Depending on what she is mad about! LOL! So cute! She does say more than that, but not very consistantly yet. But I know she will get there because she is motivated! Oh and she is climbing the stairs like a pro now... And as she goes up, she cleans the steps off! LOL... She will pick up the string or whatever is on the step and throw it behind her! Which means that the top step is actually the only one that is clean because everything else falls on the steps she just cleaned! Very fun to watch! Oh and she loves books!! Man does she like books!! She throws them off of her bookshelf and will just sit and stare at them or open them and just look at them!! It is a intrigueing at how much she has grown and changed in just a month!! Man, I can't wait for her to have a sibling though!! That will be so exciting for her!!

Beautiful Buddy Walk!!

Ok, so Saturday was the Omaha Buddy walk and what a beautiful day we had for it. Jenessa was all rested and ready, her buddies where joining her at UNO and we were a little behind schedule in leaving that morning, but we made it. It was so great to see so many people out and ready to support the ODSPN!! We had a small group walk with us, but recruited two more there! Thanks to our family and Burke, Lindsay, Ella, Tony, Abby, and Hilary for walking with us! Um... I would post pictures, but I forgot my memory card at home!! Had the camera, but forgot the card! So when I get them from my family and friends I will post some!!
All in all we had a great time at the Buddy Walk. It was so busy that I didn't get to see very many people there. I saw a few after, but not nearly as many as I wanted too.
Oh and we thought Jenessa was all rested up, but she took a nap through the walk! So cute!!

Ignorance is Bliss

So, in life we all make choices... a two years ago to this month Josh and I decided that we were not going to have the prescreening done to see if our child had any chromosomal issues or anything else. This was a honestly easy choice for us. I could and never would have an abortion because of any issue. We would get through it! Plus hey, I was 25, what was the chances of it anyways!! Then in March, we found out that yes if we had had the screening we would have probably found out that Jenessa our beautiful daughter to be had down syndrome. I often think about the odds of a 26 year old giving birth to a child with down syndrome and think that on the day we conceive Jenessa back in July of 2008, I should have played the lottery. I had just as good of chance of winning!! Now, this blog is not full of regret, not in the slightest... I would do it the same all over again. But what I cannot change is the choices of other people and how they react to Jenessa or others with down syndrome.
I have personally been on both sides of the reactions. I have watched people oogle my daughter and just beemed... But I have also lost close friends because of it, due to the only thing that I can come up with is ignorance. I have seen the horrified faces of people when they realize what my daughter has and wanted to cry because those are the faces that will hurt her the most. I have had people that I thought cared about me and were like family, completely pull away because my daughter has down syndrome and maybe just maybe they feel that the choice I made wasn't right! I dont' know. All I know is that it hurts.
The ignorance of people hurts and I know I have to be strong because one day I have to explain to my daughter why some of the people who were such strong influences in my past want nothing to do with her. And I have to explain that they are ignorant of what she can do and how strong and smart she really is. I have to tell her that the funny looks she gets are from people who just don't get it. But the hardest of all are the people that we know.
And honestly, I have to say Jenessa has wormed herself into so many peoples hearts that I was hoping that she could do it with the people that I felt were family. I tried, introduced her and everything and was shunned. No verbally, but physically and subconcously. A woman who usually talks to me for hours, talked to me for 10 minutes and never once asked to hold Jenessa. It hurts, but I guess it has helped me to see the world for what it really is. We can't make everyone love her, no matter how hard we try!
Now, I want to reiderate that I would never make a different choice, no matter how many people shunned me or my daughter. The statistics say that 90% of women who find out in the prescreening that their child has DS, abort. That is one sad, sad statistic!! I will not have another prescreening on our next child that is due in May! I have been told by the professionals that I should, but I won't. Why does it really matter! If I had chosen to have an abortion with Jenessa because she has DS, I would have missed out on so much!! I would have missed out on learning how to breath! God has taught me through Jenessa how to truely laugh and truely enjoy life! I know this is all clique, but so true. She taught me that in life we will have disappointments, but it is how we push through that makes us who we are! She has taught me that life is worth living right and doing what makes me happy! So, for all of you who have had to deal with the ignorance or who are the ignorant, I want to say I am sorry!! Don't let life jade you and prevent you from experiencing the greatness of it all!!