I sometime have days that are just hard. I know that I am so
blessed and I have a wonderful family! My daughters are literally the light of
my life!! But some days are just tough and today was one of those!
I had a great opportunity to go to MOSAIC and for those of
you who haven’t heard of it, it is a community or none profit organization that
helps adults with intellectual disabilities find their place in this world.
That is one of my biggest worries for Jenessa is when she is an adult, how is
her life going to be? Will she have a fulfilling and productive life and how
will we make sure that happens for her. We have come up with many plans and
ideas, but we always wonder.
So today I went and toured one of the Mosaic Facilities and
learned about the history of Mosaic and what they do. I also had the most
wonderful tour guide, who happens to also be apart of the Aktion club that I
have been helping out with. I got to hear his story and then a story that was
so touching and hit me right in the heart. It was a mom of a young man with
down syndrome. She talked about his first days and months there and how he
hated it and hid in the closet because it was too loud and overwhelming and my
heart just bled because it reminded me of Jenessa and how she gets in new places
with a lot of people. Then she went on and told about how he has blossomed
since coming there and told of his story, which I will never do justice for,
but it hit me hard! It was a story of a mom who loved her son very much and
just wanted what was best for him and through this organization he has come to
find himself. He has a job and learned to tie his shoes and now gets speech
therapy, which he never had before.
I then got to talk with her after and she told me the story
of his birth after I had asked if she had ever been told by a professional that
she should institutionalize him (he is 41 and I know at the time, some doctors
did) Anyway, she was so passionate when telling me her story and I could just
feel the love she has for him and even did then! No one was taking her son away;
she didn’t care if he had 10 heads!! I loved it! But this whole experience made
me face reality! I would love to live in denial and say Jenessa is not going to
need these type of services and that she will be able to have a job and get
married and do all the things that most people can. But I cannot say that she
will be able to. And on the way back to my office, I cried. I cried because my
daughter gets to go to speech today and we have the services we have now
because of mom’s like this lady and I cried because I was so tired of being
strong all the time. I just cried the most cleansing cry. It was an honest I
want that for my daughter, but I don’t want her to have to have that. (Not sure
if that even makes sense)
Then on my way to pick up Jenessa for speech, I called my
sister. One of my many rocks when it comes to Jenessa, and I told her about my
experience at Mosaic. And again I cried. And out of everything that she told me
the one thing that stuck out to me was, “But WE are doing what we can to help
prepare Jenessa and help her to not have to use those services. And WE are
there for her if she does.” And then I remembered that I am not alone in this
journey. I have family and really good friends that are here to help me when
things just get to be too much. Jenessa has a huge support system and it is not just
me, my parents, my in-laws, and Josh and my siblings it is so much bigger!
I then went to help with youth group tonight and the song
that was playing was just perfect! It talked about out of darkness there is
light and to just trust in God. Then our youth leader spoke on having faith and
that through God all things are possible. She also showed some videos about
trusting in God and leaning on him in times of pain.
It just is so amazing to me how God has blessed me with so
much in my life!! I literally was having a blah day and though a 10-minute
conversation with my sister and then an hour at a youth group, as a volunteer,
I was brought up out of my funk. It was as if God was showing me that we all
have hardships, but he has put people in our lives to help us though them! We
just have to open our eyes and hearts to other and not try to face it on our
own!!
So, as I have said many times over, thank you to our support
systems that we have!! You really do not know how much we need you and are so
grateful for you in our lives!! Jenessa is an amazing child and the fact that
she has brought so many wonderful people into my life, is truly amazing!! I
know God has a purpose for her and her mommy and he is not even close to done
using us as his tools!! Thank you!
