Reflections

Ok, the girls have this princess sing along video that has the Mulan "Reflections" song in it!! Which goes, "Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?" It goes on too, but I love that song!! It asks a great question!! I hope for my girls' sake that they are not like their mommy in the area of knowing who they are! I still don't truly know who I am!! I know I am the luckiest girl in the world because I have two of the most amazing little girls and a wonderfully supportive husband! But I look back over the last two years and being a financial advisor, (which by the way is a far cry from a teacher) and love the roller coaster ride I was on!! I also loved all the people I met through it!! But I know that it was not the best path for my family!! But then neither was being a teacher!  I wanted something that allowed me to be with my girls completely!! Though I had always wanted a job that I could reach people and make a difference I just knew in my heart of hearts that I wasn't going to be able to to be the mommy I wanted while working those jobs! which I had wanted to be from 2nd grade through my freshman year of high school!! What I have realized is that I can change the world, for two beautiful little girls!! And I can help teach these two beautiful girls how to change the world!!
Our world from the past two years, is finally slowing down. I have taken a job as an office assistant to give my family a constant paycheck. My youngest daughter has become my biggest fan and will call out the BS!! One day I put my coat on and she looked me square in the eyes and said, "Mommy going to work?" In the most accusatory tone!! Wow!! Thankfully I was just going to get the mail, but wow! She was going to make sure I spend the appropriate amount of time with her!! I have learned from those jobs of not being home at night what is really important!! I learned that my girls are the most important things to me and I just want to be able to give them what they need! I want to be able to let them have dance classes or for Jenessa to participate in Hippo-Therapy or whatever else she needs! Or just to be able to be a mommy on the weekends and spend quality time with them and not have to worry about work!
Ya know, I have always known from a young age that I wanted to be a mommy and I love being a mommy! And maybe that is truly who I am! Maybe when God blessed my parents with a third, unexpected, unplanned for child he knew that I was going to be the mommy to two beautiful girls and that I was going to make a difference in this world because I helped to make them strong independent women!! Or they could be the death of me and run my exhausted so I learn to appreciate sleep! I am not sure, but what I do know is that they are both stubborn, manipulative, sneaky, curious and intelligent little girls! I do mean all of those traits with a positive connotation! And that to me means that even though the odds are against J ever moving out or going to college, she will!! And that even though C is the spitting image of me in most all respects, she could still become a world famous singer, lawyer (which she would be great at based on her argumentative skills already!) doctor, teacher or a mom! And they will both do it all with great independence and self perseverance!!
I am so glad to be the mommy of two amazing girls! Glad to have found who I truly am!!